For the first time, I've seriously contemplated whether God is telling me to give up playing the cello and take up something else. I haven't felt a calling towards studying ministry yet, but that's one of the paths that I could take...
And I'm scared. And I'm resistant to the idea. And I feel selfish for even thinking that I have some semblance of control over my future. I feel like I'm being forced into a decision that I don't want to make, and I'm not ready to make it either. There are so many things that have contributed to my general lack of well-being.
I've been praying lately for healing, but it doesn't come instantaneously.
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